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The audience erupted, delighted to catch a front-row glimpse of the biggest penis in Newcastle. It was a legendary penis in the North East England town, and its owner had become a quasi-celebrity because of it.

In his 20s, Jordan ate up the attention, showing off his super-sized schlong to whoever wanted to see it—and as rumors spread, his crowds ballooned.

But Jordan was now pushing 40, and the novelty of being a carnival attraction had long worn off. Desperate to get on with the night, he instinctively swung his big penis around like a piece of rope—the usual act—and stuffed it back into his briefs.

The show was over. Or so he thought. Whatever will shut him up. But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it.

Jordan fell down and sprinted home. Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle. Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter.

Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon —himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3. Steixner says. Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog. In my 20s, I was like a kid in a candy store.

Compare that number to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority.

Take something as simple as riding a bike. I end up just sitting on the thing. If I want to go for a nice ride in the country, the pain distracts from the euphoria of the journey itself.

Using the restroom is an equally dicey proposition. As for other roadblocks in the bedroom, oral sex is often a nuisance. For Jordan, the threat of these clumsy conversations looms heavy in his head.

Recently, Jordan has instituted a 3-month, no-sex rule. I want a chick who wants to be with me for the right reasons.

While Jordan is looking for love, the newly unemployed Falcon is looking for work—but his manhood is getting in the way. What do you call those things?

The ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun. John Holmes Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement.

His manager claimed he was Vincent Gallo Have you ever seen Brown Bunny? Link NSFW. This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in , his friends joked about his size.

Wilt Chamberlain His nickname was "Big Dipper. It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs , but pounds is cock.

Alexis Arquette Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. Errol Flynn He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano.

A classical pianist! James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.

Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm. Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.

Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous.

Tony Danza He's uncut and long. Ray J Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? Dan Rather The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent.

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In his 20s, Jordan ate up the attention, showing off his super-sized schlong to whoever wanted to see it—and as rumors spread, his crowds ballooned.

But Jordan was now pushing 40, and the novelty of being a carnival attraction had long worn off. Desperate to get on with the night, he instinctively swung his big penis around like a piece of rope—the usual act—and stuffed it back into his briefs.

The show was over. Or so he thought. Whatever will shut him up. But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it.

Jordan fell down and sprinted home. Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle.

Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter. Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon —himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3. Steixner says.

Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog.

In my 20s, I was like a kid in a candy store. Compare that number to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority.

Take something as simple as riding a bike. I end up just sitting on the thing. If I want to go for a nice ride in the country, the pain distracts from the euphoria of the journey itself.

Using the restroom is an equally dicey proposition. As for other roadblocks in the bedroom, oral sex is often a nuisance.

For Jordan, the threat of these clumsy conversations looms heavy in his head. Recently, Jordan has instituted a 3-month, no-sex rule.

I want a chick who wants to be with me for the right reasons. While Jordan is looking for love, the newly unemployed Falcon is looking for work—but his manhood is getting in the way.

Falcon is a budding actor who wades through desk jobs to pay the bills. If I do porn, that's the end. James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.

Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm. Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.

Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous.

Tony Danza He's uncut and long. Ray J Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? Dan Rather The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent.

Simon Rex It's no wonder why he used to do porno. Here's a preview of Hung :. Well, I'm going to be the iconoclast here and say that, yes, size matters to me, and quite a bit.

I suppose I have somewhat of a fetish for large penises, so I have a hard time believing women who say they "don't like" big penises, because "they hurt".

Comments like that make me think that the opining woman is trying to signal to her audience that she has a tight vagina and doesn't sleep around, and that she would rather be quietly dissatisfied with her boyfriend's average size than to seem to espouse the same kind of body objectification heaped on women.

Alternatively, maybe she's just never been with a large penis that was attached to a man who knew how to really get her worked up before trying to enter.

And, since I'm sure someone will make this assumption: I am a gym rat, so I do a lot of intense core work. This tones and works all those down-there muscles, too.

So, no, my preference for large penises is not because my vagina is an airplane hangar. Moving on. I'm not saying that men should feel bad about a physical trait that they cannot change; obviously, penis size is not the only criteria by which to judge a male human being.

But I don't think we should lie to ourselves and each other especially when it falls under anti-slut signaling behavior , or sacrifice our pleasure, in order to hold on to a narrow definition of feminism.

Everything you need to know about and expect during. The A. Tracie Egan Morrissey.

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